The MerLion Chronicles
Dearest Bloggie,
I promised to give an account about China and Bangkok, but it just has to wait. Today, we will be embarking on a journey to Singapore. I'm pretty excited because this is the first time that I'll actually have a journal while having the trip. Before, I was either too busy or too depressed to blog my travels. Well lately, there's one reason to be depressed, but i think I'll be over it soon, and this blog may even be therapeutic.
Singapore is an island city-state and the smallest country in South-East Asia. It is located on the southern tip of the Malay Peninsula, south of the Malaysian state of Johor, and north of the Indonesian Riau Islands. It lies just 137 kilometres (85 miles) north of the Equator. <<< Wikipedia
My dad already surfed the net so that we'll already have a plan on where to go when we get there. My friend, Kreisler told me though, that you can go to Malaysia from Singapore by train. I tried to research about it, but the information that I got discouraged me. It said that you have to reserve at least one month for a ticket (bummer). Anyway, I'll be asking Joshua, a friend who lives there and is in the Philippines right now for vacation, about some other way to get there.
We'll be leaving in a few minutes. I'll be keeping you updated!
-Psychi-
Memories frozen at 12:58 PM
To Terrorize or Not to Terrorize? That is the Question
"I have been trying to be as patient as possible with my students so that I could be a good testimony to them..." -Zoi
"But sometimes, it's just too hard.... Students these days are not as responsible as they were before... If they see an opening, they will devour you..." -Psychi
"That's why i've been wanting to ... Even for one sem... be like the others. Terrorize them so that they know how to BE responsible students" ... -Soma
However, I firmly believed that, no matter how fearsome you may be to them, you won't still get the respect that you want... So i tried to be kind and considerate hoping that it would be more conducive for them to learn... I always hoped and thought that I was right, but there were really moments when I felt that I have chosen the wrong path (in teaching, that is). It didn't stop me from pressing on though.
... However my conviction has been weakened by a recent incident that i wouldn't dare mention...
"Ok lang kung mababa ang sweldo kumpara sa industry... Magagaling naman ang estudyante eh... at marami ka pang matututunan"...
This statement has been true before... I just don't know now... Yeah there are still many students who live up to this statement and in the past years, there were only a few exceptions... However, each year, there's an increasing number of "exceptions" and a decreasing number of the majority entering UP. I have this fear that a time will come when the exceptions become the majority and this university will not be worth it anymore... I truly hope that this won't happen.
I can understand why many of us lose that initial flame that we had when we first stepped into the classroom as teachers. My flame is nearly gone, thanks to "them"... -SOMA
I can't write anymore... I have more pressing issues to face...
Memories frozen at 2:23 AM
Pandoras Box
There is no denying it. Pandora's box has been opened. I'm just curious who did it. I was sure that things were fine that day... It might have been something i'm not aware of. Something that had escaped my watch. Satyrs are everywhere. I should have known that they existed even in the inner circle. I'm just not sure who they were. I have ideas. But ideas they will remain to be unless I take time to know. On the other hand, i think i'll just have to wait till the ill-wishing stops. Blink out while the cosmos is in chaos and blink back in when it stops. Trust really is so hard to give, even to the seemingly quiet.... I never thought that ... it was actually her. Too bad. I trusted her so much. Concerning the war, I raise the white flag. I don't see any point in continuing to return the cold glances and the unruly stares. It just so happened that my pride has been stired by them. But why should i concede? Was i not fighting for what I believed to be right? The bad side effects outweighed the good. So it's probably a stupid mistake... but why was it amplified to this extent ? That's what i'm about to find out ... [SOMA]
Memories frozen at 3:18 AM
TRUST
has been a very curious word for me... Cynicism (Greek κυνισμός) was originally the philosophy of a group of ancient Greeks called the Cynics, founded by Antisthenes.
Soma: because right now, i don't trust people...
Psychi: Me too...
Zoi: This world won't be in order if trust didn't exist...
Soma: what order?
Psychi: I remember someone telling me that i was optimistic and trusting...
Soma: Which person ?
Psychi: Bia...
Soma: Oh the one who writes so well?
Psychi: Yeah, he told me that he was a cynic...
Soma: Makes me wonder... What does cynicism mean anyway?
Psychi: Um... I don't know too...
Zoi: It is defined as this ...
Zoi: it's from wikipedia by the way...
Psychi: Yeah.. He has a hard time trusting the sincerity of people...
Soma: Hahahah... HE's just the same as us!
Zoi: Only same as you Soma... I know that Bia has also a part of himself that believes in altruism.
Psychi: I don't trust people too..
Soma: You said that already...
Psychi: Oh.. did i?
Zoi: Another person told me that you should not really trust people... Only the Master can be trusted ... It may sound spiritual, but does it really hold ? I can't imagine my sister Athoos or Evimeriagios having those evil intentions...
Psychi: Evimeriagios had already done that before right?
Zoi: But Gios didn't mean it... It wasn't his fault...
Soma: Yes it was... stop being so gullible!
Zoi: So what... everything has been forgiven anyway, and we also made a mistake and caused many damages...
Soma: Only Psychi did... he was too nice and believing... I won't be easily bullied... All of them
should be distrusted.... I'll never trust Gios...
Zoi: It can't be helped... Soma was badly damaged.... But it's not right... it's never right to
not forgive and not trust....
Soma: Timo can be trusted tho...
Psychi: Timo ? are you serious? he has done lots of mischiefs already by giving confidential
information to the wrong people...
Soma: Yeah but he somehow gained my trust... i don't know how...
Zoi: That means you're not a cynic... Soma, Psychi... It's time to forgive and learn how to
trust again.
Psychi: I think you're right... Gios had his bad days too... we weren't there to support him.
Zoi: And what about Athoos? She's the most faithful person I have ever known...
Soma: I agree... She only failed me once...
Zoi: Think about it though... Many times we have failed the master already... Yet He never was bitter... He always forgave us when we asked for forgiveness... He never distrusted us... Isn't it also right that we should forget about the past now?
Psychi: Yeah someone told me that holding on to bitterness is enslaving yourself to the target of your bitterness...
Soma: ReallY?! I don't like to be a slave again!
Zoi: Then forgive and forget... That's the only solution...
Psychi: Ok.. so should I trust people again?
Zoi: That's the only way...
Soma: Hmpppp..... I have no choice... better lose once than to be a slave forever...
***********
Colossians 3:13
Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.
Memories frozen at 9:38 PM
LATE!!!
It's a word that I'm starting to hate these days... I've realized that,,,
Soma: "Why are you blogging again?! Isn't it supposed to be my turn now?""
Psychi: "Well... I wanted to to talk about my past trips too... but we agreed that Zoi should dominate us until his fast has ended..."
Soma: "Grrr...."
Zoi: "Can I continue my story?"
Soma: "What story?"
Zoi: "I've realized that I have been very inefficient last semester..."
Soma: "No we weren't! We had a lot of fun! Those Dota matches... oh how i miss them"
Psychi: "Last sem was the worst Soma... You should have remembered the pain we've been through..."
Soma: "Pain? What pain ? I only experienced enjoyment..."
Zoi: "But what dominated back then was discouragement.... Psychi was the one who suffered a lot... And that was because we held our guard down"
Psychi: "Let's forget about it... Can you continue your story..?"
Zoi: "Ok... So I realized that last sem, a lot of my meetings and classes started late..."
Soma: "But that wasn't always because I was late! Come on! My contacts usually came in late during our meetings..."
Zoi: "So why can't we make them come early? Isn't it because you're not sure if you can be consistently early too? So it's our fault..."
Psychi: "Zoi has a point.."
Zoi: "And just now, I was late again in class..."
Soma: "I told you that we could just make up some valid excuse like I had an important meeting or..."
Zoi: "It doesn't work that way... It will just amplify the wrong that we did..."
Psychi: "I don't feel it was wrong... It was an honest mistake anyway.. .Wereally felt that it was 4-7 instead of 10-1"
Zoi: "Thank God for Johanna... If she didn't call me I wouldn't have been able to conduct class this morning... Maybe I should treat her later for lunch or maybe dinner"
Psychi: "I perfectly agree!!!"
Soma: "Grrr.... I hate mushy stuff... Can you just go on with your realization?!"
Zoi: "My mistake there was that I wasn't aware of my schedule..."
Psychi: "yeah... you always depended on me... i think my feelings are very inaccurate..."
Zoi: "What then should I do to always be punctual in meetings?"
Psychi: "Well... I remembered that you were planning to buy a planner..."
Zoi: "I almost forgot!... I can also make use of the calendar program of my phone..."
Soma: "no fun! no fun!.... you're not organized... you won't last a week!"
Psychi: "you're right.... I never was consistent.... this is so depressing....."
Zoi: "But what about the promise of the Master? He has already given us power to conquer these things right? "
Psychi: "I don't care... I just want to cry..."
Soma: "Stop being a crybaby... What promise is that Zoi?"
Zoi: "He had already given us a Spirit of self-discipline... We can conquer this weakness through that... weapon"
Soma: "How do we use it then ?"
Zoi: "I don't know... let's see what He'll teach us this week.. .maybe we can get some good ideas on how to make use of this weapon.."
Soma: "What a cool name! Spirit of self-discipline... maybe i can suggest it as a new character in Dota... hehehe..."
Psychi: "ZzzzZZZzzzz"
Zoi: "Oh... Psychi is asleep now.... Maybe we should too..."
Soma: "Ok..."
******************* 2Timothy 1:7 For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline. *************
Memories frozen at 8:29 PM
The Three Selves
From now on the blogger has decided to write his thoughts in three different perspectives coming from three different personalities that were spawned after 23 years... He has decided to name them as : "Soma", "Psychi", and "Zoi", two of which comes from the subconscious.
Zoi: "I was the first self"
Soma: "I was the second self"
Psychi: "I was the third self"
You might think that I'm crazy, but i'm actually just trying to draw out the thoughts buried in the subconscious. The one writing now is the combination of the three and is constantly trying to find the perfect balance for the glory of His master. :)
Soma: "Wow heavy... nababaliw ka na talaga Bobby..."
Psychi: "Please don't treat yourself harshly... He's just being realistic... A constant battle of wills is not abnormal in the human mind"
Soma: "He's not myself... I'm Soma..."
Zoi: "Soma has always hated Bobby... You must understand"
Soma: "Isn't it crazy to even post such idiotic ideas in a blog to be read by your friends? This is ridiculous"
Zoi: "This is actually the goal of the succeeding blogs... To at least give a glimpse of the battle of wills that happen in the human mind... or at least in this human mind in particular..."
Psychi: "Yes, and we need to keep track of what has been happening to us since we started to exist in his mind... When we feel that..."
Soma: "Feel !!! Feel!!! who needs feelings ? it will just cripple him! ... I mean us... It's the main reason why he's been taken advantage of so many times!! We have to stop him from feeling.."
Zoi: "It may be true that his feelings gave way to many hurts he received and caused... But it's a part of us... Can it really be removed?"
Psychi: "I may not have existed without it..."
Soma: "Then it's better for you not to exist at all... You caused all the trouble..."
Zoi: "Well maybe we just have to surrender it to our Master"
Soma: "Which master?"
Psychi: "Zoi, please remember that Soma has another master... "
Zoi: "Oh.. but I thought he has already surrendered to ours..."
Soma: "I was just joking... yet i must be honest... i'm still very shaky..."
Psychi: "Me too... Only Zoi has been consistent in obeying our Master and resisting the old one... Too bad he's the most seldom to dominate among the three of us... Usually it's either me or you..."
Soma: "Yeah, but it's all good... I'm a little distressed about his classes... They seem to become more boring every semester..."
Psychi: "I can understand his feelings... He has always craved for Java..."
Soma: "He musn't feel, otherwise he'll be more ineffective... By the way, I'm itching to play Dota... Why is he continuing to restrain it? He could have just played and not told his partner about it.."
Psychi: " The covenant was made to the Master and not to his partner alone... He'll have to do it if he doesn't want to be cursed..."
Soma: "What a selfish reason... He just doesn't want to get cursed"
Zoi: "Well, he also wants to please the Master..."
Soma : "He can please the master in other ways.. Come on! I want to play... Wanna use Rhasta and beat those kids..."
Psychi:"Yeah.. and I'm getting more depressed each day.. It seems that insecurities continue to overwhelm me...Dota makes me forget"
Zoi: "He is already secure in Christ... He needs nothing or noone else... Forgetting is never the solution..."
Psychi:"But I feel down... Even if you tell that thing to me a hundred times i'll feel like this..."
Zoi: "You're searching for something that cannot be found... The heart is deceitful among many things... Let's help bobby keep up with his promise... Maybe I should dominate the two of you for now... Can I?"
Psychi: "Well... I need to rest too... I feel too depressed to think about it... but ... um ... well ok..."
Soma: "Grrr... Maybe i'll get those kids next time..."
Zoi: "Ok I'll tell him to keep on meditating on Philippians 4:8"
Soma: "Settled then... grrrr.. I really miss Rhasta..."
PSychi: "ZzzzzZZZzzZZZZZ"
**************************************************************************
Philippians 4:8
Memories frozen at 2:00 AM
Enrolled at last!
After gruelling days of extremely long lines and thousands of forms [thousands=i'm exaggerating] to be filled up, I finally received two stamped classcards and a piece of paper which most people here call "form 5". I have only two subjects for my study load for this sem since i'll be handling 4 sections of IT 1. CMSC 271 which is about Management Information Systems is handled by our current director, while IT 210, which is about developing web applications is taught by sir Jade.
second-self: "I thought you'll be talking about your past trips?! Why are you blogging about the present?!"...
first-self: "That was you who was blogging back then... It's my turn now so just wait for your turn."
third-self: "hey! what's with you two?"
second-self: "Oh my... How many selves do we have?!!! This is getting freakier by the minute!"
third-self: "Yeah... a number of personas have sprouted from extreme circumstances in this blogger's life"
second-self: "Huh? I don't think so.. Extreme circumstances wouldn't affect me..."
first-self: "He was talking about me.... moron".
third-self: "I don't trust people anymore..."
second-self: "Huh? So what if we don't? Who cares?"
first-self: " I think we should stop this now... You're not supposed to speak up.. Stay in the
subconscious where you belong..."
third-self: "Yes... Let's"
second-self: " I agree... "
**********
Philippians 4:8 ^_^
Memories frozen at 11:22 PM
The Freedom of Angels
Twenty years have passed...
The large castle that once towered among the trees have finally come into complete ruin...
The rooms have now shattered into piles of rocks and pebbles...
A dry breeze passed and turned into a mighty gale...
The three angels, who once inhabited the castle, struggled against the wind and finally took their flight to the heavens...
Yet the heavens have closed the doors of entry for them...
A voice then instructed them to take the long route back...
The angels are now free...
Memories frozen at 6:31 PM
The Awakening
After being silent for a long time... I've finally decided to write once again and tell of my experiences during "summer"... A literal "summer" it may be but not yet in these parts... My heart has been so used to this winter that it has already closed its doors to the other seasons. It has learned, through the months, to enjoy every frostbite the bitter snow has brought it. Though it seemed that spring has already dawned upon my life, I still can't be so sure. I will still remain in winter until I think I'm really ready for them.
My blogs will mostly talk about the past, starting from my vacation in China up to the present. This will be the outline containing my future posts... :
* Guang Zhou
* Hongkong
* PRE-LDI
* LDI
* Restoration
* Davao
See you then... :)
Memories frozen at 7:37 PM
The Snowtreader
I am a traveler...
A nomad craving to see my home...
A place beyond the freezing snow...
I am a traveler...
Waiting for the journey to end....
Tired of this excrutiating voyage...
Can someone tell me how I can get home soon?
*************
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